Saint Monkey

There is no nice way to say this, but for those people who are a part of the Cult of Mac: You’re weird and scary.

Really, there is something incredibly freaky about the fervour that Apple lovers have about a BRAND. It’s a brand people. It’s  based around an electronics company.

For people who are members of the Cult of Mac, there a religious like awe usually reserved for the divine.

It seems that no matter what they release, be it good or sub par product, there are people who will line up for days or hours to get if first. It isn’t like they wouldn’t be able to get it if they waited a week. It isn’t a rock concert that can sell out, without the possibility of more tickets released, in a matter of minutes. The i-pod / i-phone / i-whatever will still be available the next week and the week after. You won’t miss out.

Now, I admit, Mac isn’t my thing.

Some of it seems pretty nice but I find the all white notebooks hurt my eyes. If I want something really portable, I still want it to be powerful enough to be able to do things or, I want it really small like the Asus eee.

My experience with iPod’s isn’t that great because I did a series of sound tests using a computer, Sony HiMD and a first or second gen ipod. Using the same MP3 we (my friend and I) did a sound test on each plugged through the same set of speakers. The iPod didn’t sound a lot like the original. I’m sure this would go unnoticed without a comparative test and probably has more to do with the audio codec than the iPod itself, but between this and the fact that I like my music DRM free and my player DRM free and my software DRM free and not have my music re-encoded into crappy formats and hidden from me in my player, Apple failed to win me over.

Now, the iphone does seem pretty cool. But I wont be getting one because I don’t want to have Mac-Restrict® on every part of it.

But my point is; even though they have some possibly decent products, some crap products, some products that are to (only) some peoples taste, and some really good products (or what would be good products without Mac-Restrict®), there is no need to be so passionate about it.

Why do people from the Cult of Mac always feel the need to defend the products of a company? Look online, in forums, chat rooms and comments and if there is anything said that is negative about Macs, there will be those followers of Mac, ready to defend their mighty white god.

It makes me sick. It’s just a fucking BRAND. I don’t hate Mac, I hate followers of the Cult of Mac. You scary weird fuckers!

Cancelling membership by phone while in a different time zone leaves only a few hour window to do so. Remembering to do so in that narrow window can be a problem if you are me. So it takes me a couple days.

I give a call to the second, international number and am given a few options. I press 8 as that’s the only option that is supposed to send me to an operator. Every time I press it, it rings and then cuts out. I try about five times then call the other number, with which I’m connected to a person straight away.

After I give my user details the conversation went something like this:
Note also that the guy I spoke to was very polite and even the entire conversation.

Audible guy: So, what can I do for you today sir?
Me: I want to cancel my membership.
A: Okay sir, am I able to ask why?
M: There are a number of reasons but the first is the DRM crap Audible has with the files.
A: I’m sorry sir, could you say that again?
M: I don’t like the DRM with the files.
A: DRM…? Sir, what this DRM thing?
M: DRM stands for Digital Rights Management. It stops me doing what I want to do with the Audible files.
A: DRM… DRM… I’m sorry sir, could you tell that to me again?
M: Digital Rights Management means I can’t do shit with the files I paid for unless I turn them into MP3 which takes too long and wastes my time.
A: Oh you mean the .aa files?
M: Yeah sort of. Although it’s the DRM that’s in the .aa files, not the files themselves…
A: I think a lot of customers have a problem that the files aren’t in MP3. Our tech guys say that you can’t turn them into MP3. I’m sorry that this is a problem for you sir.
M: Yes you can, it’s just a waste of time.
A: Oh…
M: Why cant I cancel my membership online?
A: You can sir.
M: I couldn’t, it just sent me to a page with these phone numbers.
A: If you click on account details and then click make changes to my membership. At the bottom of the screen you should see cancel membership plan.
M: And when I click that I just get a screen with phone numbers to call to cancel my membership. That’s all, no other options.
A: Oh, they must have changed it…
M: Can I cancel my membership?
A: Yes sir…. but… um… it seems that you have 2 credits on your account and if you cancel now, you’ll lose them.
M: Okay… when did they go on there?
A: Let me see sir… oh, today!
M: Right… just forget it, I’ll have to cancel another time.

The guy was either fucking with me or an idiot. I’m leaning towards the former.

I signed up to Audible 2 months ago because I received a one month free promotional offer with a new Creative MP3 player (I’m just not into ipod restrictions). I got a couple of audio books and when the next months billing came around and was 1. Too lazy to cancel my membership, 2. Thought that I wouldn’t mind a couple more audio books, and 3. Hadn’t yet actually tried to listen to the audio books that I already downloaded.

When I did try to listen to the audio books I found that they didn’t want to transfer to my MP3 player because their Audible Manager is a piece of junk software and the files are DRM protected (which I had already assumed). So, I had to waste my time figuring how to rip the audible files to MP3 and then waste more time actually doing it.

Got to love that DRM…

Although I’m generally happy to pay for things, I want to be able to use them, so I figured it’s a lot easier and far less time consuming to get audio books elsewhere, not to mention, um, cheaper… and I can listen to them however and whichever way I like.

Come this months billing and I try to cancel my membership. But no, can’t do that online. “You are free to put your credit card information online but we wont let you take it off”. What they gave me was this rubbish:

“Need to Cancel Your Audible Membership?

We want to provide you with the best possible customer experience, even if you decide to cancel your membership.

Please contact us toll-free via phone at: 888-396-6348
Outside of the USA and Canada please use 973-820-0400

Hours
• Monday – Friday: 9AM-10PM EST
• Saturday: 10AM-7PM EST

This will allow us to:
• Address technical or usability issues that might be hindering your use of Audible
• Make sure you know about all of the benefits of Audible membership
• Get your feedback, so that we can continuously improve the service

We appreciate your business and thank you for your patience.

Click here to return to My Account”

I’m sorry but that just isn’t good enough. That’s a ridiculous tactic to make it too much of an effort to cancel your membership.
For me, Audible is too much of an effort and wastes too much time to bother being a member.